So my homegirl texted me yesterday asking me if I’ve saw Issa Rae’s photoshoot on Ebony. I hadn’t yet because I was stuck in a metal tube for most of the day.
Five flights and crazy delays. I hate JFK and I loathe people who think because I’m a flight attendant that I’m also a meteorologist and a psychic. No, I don’t know when the weather will pass and I have no idea if you’re going to make your connection.
When I finally got to my hotel in Rochester at 3:30am, I went to Issa’s IG page to see what all the hype was about.
My jaw dropped. I was disappointed af. Issa is too popping to be done so dirty. Ebony, this is your fashion issue, really?
They got my girl Issa looking like someone’s mama. There’s no sex appeal or nothing hip or fashionable about Issa in the photos. She looked better in Drake’s “Nice for What” video.
Issa is too young to be styled so tragically. A slip dress with a shawl? A black jumpsuit that would only be fashionable at church.
Fly tip: If you’re doing a jumpsuit, make sure it’s sharp. Look for smart tailoring.
Issa in a form fitting tuxedo jumpsuit, would have taken the way too long and too lax jumpsuit to the boss status that she is.
A peach dress with tulle? That would have been cute for a spring wedding issue.
Issa was styled in outfits that were random and not at all cohesive. I just think about the white girls that are Issa's age who are styled to perfection for other publications.
InStyle would never do Emma Watson or Keira Knightley like that. Nothing about Issa’s looks said that this is the fashion issue of the famed Ebony magazine.
I also am not here for unauthentic fanfare. Y’all stop with the fake social media hype. When’s the last time y’all read Ebony?
Everything about the photoshoot was uninspired and boring. I serve looks for brunch.
Issa, I’m here for you girl. I would style the hell out of you! My IG is FlyCarla.
I hosted a fashion segment on Baltimore’s Fox45, you can watch it here:http://foxbaltimore.com/morning/makeover-monday-wearing-white
You email me here: firstname.lastname@example.org
Bey’s cover was also overhyped. Kanye shrug.